AFL Goal Scoring Songs
Essendon Coach Kevin Sheedy wanted to bring some excitement to the Tigers-Bombers game by having music played when players kicked a goal. People laughed a long time ago when Sheedy had the idea of three on the interchange bench, so the music could happen. If it did, here is a tongue-in-cheek selection of songs that could be played, players are listed in order of goals kicked last season.
1. Brendan Fevola Carlton - Angry Young Man: Billy Joel
Sometimes kicking goals, sometimes giving away 50m penalties, he entertains.
2. Barry Hall Sydney Swans - Mama Said Knock You Out: LL Cool J
His reputation proceeds him, and he uses that advantage to take over games.
3. Fraser Gehrig St Kilda - Runnin' With The Devil: Van Halen
Angry Young Man was already taken.
4. Brad Johnson Western Bulldogs - Walking On Sunshine: Katrina and the Waves
Happy song for a happy player, imagine how much he will smile if they actually win the Grand Final next year.
5. Scott Lucas Essendon - Kick: INXS
It's not the handball, it's the "kick", and his kicks can go 70 metres.
6. Matthew Pavlich Fremantle - Simply The Best: Tina Turner
Pavlich is the best, a bad song but the title explains Pavlich's rank.
7. David Neitz Melbourne - The Strong Will Eat The Weak: Snoop Dogg
You don't want to be standing in front of his leads.
8. Mark Williams Hawthorn - Looking For Freedom: David Hasselhoff
At his best when given space in the forward line, might have Croad and Franklin there next year if Williams is still at Hawthorn which might not work for him. He needs freedom, and maybe the Dockers forward line is a better spot.
9. Nick Riewoldt St Kilda - Mistake: Stephanie McIntosh
Harsh choice, perhaps, but at least it wasn't a Jason Donavon song.
10. Daniel Bradshaw Brisbane Lions - On The Road Again: Willie Nelson
From Victoria to Queensland, but probably has to travel again.
11. Anthony Rocca Collingwood - For Those About To Rock: AC DC
Only a 100 or so songs with "Rock" in them to choose from.
12. Quinten Lynch West Coast Eagles - I'm On My Way: The Proclaimers
"From misery to happiness", from missing a Grand Final to being a key player in winning it the next year.
13. Nathan Thompson Kangaroos - Breathless: The Corrs
Biggest news for the Kangaroos was when he took himself off during a close last quarter.
14. Jeff Farmer Fremantle - Magic: The Cars
When you don't think he can kick the goal that is when he does it.
15. Matthew Richardson Richmond - Pressure: Billy Joel
Has always looked more confident with a 45m kick for goal from the boundary than a 30m shot right in front.
16. Matthew Robbins Western Bulldogs - Who Can It Be Now: Men At Work
Has been a good contributor for the Bulldogs ever since Geelong traded him there but he is not a big name yet.
17. Mark Ricciuto Adelaide - When I'M Back On My Feet Again: Michael Bolton
Adelaide will be dominant as soon as Ricciuto is back on his feet again next season.
18. Trent Hentschel Adelaide - Doctor Doctor: Thompson Twins
Sad but true. But Hentschel can make a comeback in 2008.
19. Alan Didak Collingwood - Complicated: Avril Lavigne
Maybe Eddie could tell us what has been happening with Didak over the past few months, but it is probably a bit complicated.
20. Russell Robertson Melbourne - Super Freak: Rick James
The commentators are always talking about Robertson looking injured, that he better come off the ground, then the ball gets kicked into the forward line and Robertson takes off and brings down a freakish mark.
21. Michael O'Loughlin Sydney Swans - Anxiety (Get Nervous): Pat Benatar
Was always a great kick, but he has admitted that his shots for goal are a problem now.
22. Ben Dixon Hawthorn - Here I Go Again: Whitesnake
Seems like he started when Tuck was still there, but is going around again in 2007.
23. Brett Burton Adelaide - Jump: Van Halen
That's what he does.
24. Chris Tarrant Collingwood - Notorious: Duran Duran
Notorious, seems to describe him.
25. Jonathan Brown Brisbane Lions - Bad, Bad Leroy Brown: Jim Croce
Maybe not as "bad" as he was, the umpires liked him in the Brownlow voting.
26. Gary Ablett Geelong - Cats In The Cradle: Cat Stevens
Plenty of Cats in this story.
27. Aaron Davey Melbourne - Stay Hungry: Twisted Sister
He is standing 30m from goal and the ball is handballed to him, just kicks it out of the air for a goal. When you have that skill you can be a bit more hungry around goals than others.
28. Lance Franklin Hawthorn - You're The Best Around: Joe Esposito
He knows it, plenty of fans know it, Clarkson might not, but Franklin is the complete package and the best young talent around.
29. Paul Chapman Geelong - Solid: Ashford and Simpson
Solid describes his game, his body and his bumps.
30. Kayne Pettifer Richmond - When Will I Be Famous: Bros
Will be in the background as long as Richardson is there.
31. Adam Cooney Western Bulldogs - Bound For Glory: Angry Anderson
Not mentioning the BatMobile, this is about Cooney winning something soon, maybe a Brownlow and maybe a Norm Smith.
32. Steve Johnson Geelong - Rebel Yell: Billy Idol
Johnson does things his way, a bit of a rebel.
33. Matthew Bode Adelaide - White and Nerdy: Weird Al
Had to get Weird Al on the list for all his fans. Bode is a little guy who looks like he should not be on the field, but he is a good player. You might be worried for him in physical clashes but at least he is playing with Ricciuto and not against him now.
34. Adem Yze Melbourne - Easy: Faith No More
Can make the game look easy. "Easy", "Yze", a bit similar. "I'm Yze like Sunday morning".
35. Josh Mahoney Port Adelaide - I Should Be So Lucky: Kylie Minogue
Not good enough for the Magpies and Bulldogs, then a few years later he is back with the Power on Grand Final day.
36. Stephen Milne St Kilda - Wanna Be Starting Somethin': Michael Jackson
Can start a run of goals, or a bit of trouble in the forward line.
37. Ryan O'Keefe Sydney Swans - Shout: Johnny O'Keefe
Maybe Ryan isn't loud, but it is still a fitting song.
38. Chris Judd West Coast Eagles - Born To Run: Bruce Springsteen
You can't acquire the athletic abilities that he has, he was born with it.
39. Chris Grant Western Bulldogs - Pride (In The Name Of Love): U2
His pride and loyalty kept him at the Bulldogs.
40. Andrew Embley West Coast Eagles - Jump Around: House of Pain
Is probably still jumping around.
41. Brad Ottens Geelong - I Can't Drive 55: Sammy Hagar
Ottens isn't the only footballer with "car troubles", and even he should see the irony in his award for mark-of-the-year.
42. Nathan Buckley Collingwood - Blame It On The Rain: Milli Vanilli
When he misses a kick for goal, he has to "blame it on something".
43. Troy Simmonds Richmond - Enter Sandman: Metallica
Plenty of snakes in the video, although it could also be suggested that Michael Long could be entering.
44. Brett Ebert Port Adelaide - The Best Was Yet To Come: Bryan Adams
Will be even better next season.
45. Brent Staker West Coast Eagles - Every Rose Has Its Thorn: Poison
A lot of good stories for the West Coast players, but Staker missed out.
46. Adam Goodes Sydney Swans - Taller, Stronger, Better: Guy Sebastian
Whoever he plays on, Goodes is usually taller, stronger and better than them.
47. Leon Davis Collingwood - Don't You Want Me: Human League
Not getting a game, he has to wonder if they do want him.
48. Scott Thompson Adelaide - Hold Me Now: Thompson Twins
Kicks goals but also gets plenty of tackles.
49. Cameron Mooney Geelong - Moody River: Pat Boone
Down at the Barwon River you never know which Mooney wil be playing, he could be dominating the game or in a bad mood and dominating the tribunal.
50. Angus Monfries Essendon - Back In Black: AC DC
Turn on Back In Black and the first thing you hear is "Angus".
Please note, aflinsider.net does not endorse you purchasing any of these songs. Except for Poison's underrated albums.
Other songs that could have been considered were Alice Cooper's Hey Stupid, Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock and Number Of The Beast by Iron Maiden.
If the title could be tweaked, Van Halen's Ain't Talkin' Bout Glove would have worked for the Big Q. Or Madness could sing "It must be glove".
1. Brendan Fevola Carlton - Angry Young Man: Billy Joel
Sometimes kicking goals, sometimes giving away 50m penalties, he entertains.
2. Barry Hall Sydney Swans - Mama Said Knock You Out: LL Cool J
3. Fraser Gehrig St Kilda - Runnin' With The Devil: Van Halen
Angry Young Man was already taken.
4. Brad Johnson Western Bulldogs - Walking On Sunshine: Katrina and the Waves
Happy song for a happy player, imagine how much he will smile if they actually win the Grand Final next year.
5. Scott Lucas Essendon - Kick: INXS
It's not the handball, it's the "kick", and his kicks can go 70 metres.
6. Matthew Pavlich Fremantle - Simply The Best: Tina Turner
Pavlich is the best, a bad song but the title explains Pavlich's rank.
7. David Neitz Melbourne - The Strong Will Eat The Weak: Snoop Dogg
You don't want to be standing in front of his leads.
8. Mark Williams Hawthorn - Looking For Freedom: David Hasselhoff
At his best when given space in the forward line, might have Croad and Franklin there next year if Williams is still at Hawthorn which might not work for him. He needs freedom, and maybe the Dockers forward line is a better spot.
9. Nick Riewoldt St Kilda - Mistake: Stephanie McIntosh
10. Daniel Bradshaw Brisbane Lions - On The Road Again: Willie Nelson
From Victoria to Queensland, but probably has to travel again.
11. Anthony Rocca Collingwood - For Those About To Rock: AC DC
Only a 100 or so songs with "Rock" in them to choose from.
12. Quinten Lynch West Coast Eagles - I'm On My Way: The Proclaimers
"From misery to happiness", from missing a Grand Final to being a key player in winning it the next year.
13. Nathan Thompson Kangaroos - Breathless: The Corrs
Biggest news for the Kangaroos was when he took himself off during a close last quarter.
14. Jeff Farmer Fremantle - Magic: The Cars
When you don't think he can kick the goal that is when he does it.
15. Matthew Richardson Richmond - Pressure: Billy Joel
Has always looked more confident with a 45m kick for goal from the boundary than a 30m shot right in front.
16. Matthew Robbins Western Bulldogs - Who Can It Be Now: Men At Work
Has been a good contributor for the Bulldogs ever since Geelong traded him there but he is not a big name yet.
17. Mark Ricciuto Adelaide - When I'M Back On My Feet Again: Michael Bolton
Adelaide will be dominant as soon as Ricciuto is back on his feet again next season.
18. Trent Hentschel Adelaide - Doctor Doctor: Thompson Twins
Sad but true. But Hentschel can make a comeback in 2008.
19. Alan Didak Collingwood - Complicated: Avril Lavigne
Maybe Eddie could tell us what has been happening with Didak over the past few months, but it is probably a bit complicated.
20. Russell Robertson Melbourne - Super Freak: Rick James
The commentators are always talking about Robertson looking injured, that he better come off the ground, then the ball gets kicked into the forward line and Robertson takes off and brings down a freakish mark.
21. Michael O'Loughlin Sydney Swans - Anxiety (Get Nervous): Pat Benatar
Was always a great kick, but he has admitted that his shots for goal are a problem now.
22. Ben Dixon Hawthorn - Here I Go Again: Whitesnake
Seems like he started when Tuck was still there, but is going around again in 2007.
23. Brett Burton Adelaide - Jump: Van Halen
That's what he does.
24. Chris Tarrant Collingwood - Notorious: Duran Duran
Notorious, seems to describe him.
25. Jonathan Brown Brisbane Lions - Bad, Bad Leroy Brown: Jim Croce
Maybe not as "bad" as he was, the umpires liked him in the Brownlow voting.
26. Gary Ablett Geelong - Cats In The Cradle: Cat Stevens
Plenty of Cats in this story.
27. Aaron Davey Melbourne - Stay Hungry: Twisted Sister
He is standing 30m from goal and the ball is handballed to him, just kicks it out of the air for a goal. When you have that skill you can be a bit more hungry around goals than others.
28. Lance Franklin Hawthorn - You're The Best Around: Joe Esposito
He knows it, plenty of fans know it, Clarkson might not, but Franklin is the complete package and the best young talent around.
29. Paul Chapman Geelong - Solid: Ashford and Simpson
Solid describes his game, his body and his bumps.
30. Kayne Pettifer Richmond - When Will I Be Famous: Bros
Will be in the background as long as Richardson is there.
31. Adam Cooney Western Bulldogs - Bound For Glory: Angry Anderson
Not mentioning the BatMobile, this is about Cooney winning something soon, maybe a Brownlow and maybe a Norm Smith.
32. Steve Johnson Geelong - Rebel Yell: Billy Idol
Johnson does things his way, a bit of a rebel.
33. Matthew Bode Adelaide - White and Nerdy: Weird Al
Had to get Weird Al on the list for all his fans. Bode is a little guy who looks like he should not be on the field, but he is a good player. You might be worried for him in physical clashes but at least he is playing with Ricciuto and not against him now.
34. Adem Yze Melbourne - Easy: Faith No More
Can make the game look easy. "Easy", "Yze", a bit similar. "I'm Yze like Sunday morning".
35. Josh Mahoney Port Adelaide - I Should Be So Lucky: Kylie Minogue
Not good enough for the Magpies and Bulldogs, then a few years later he is back with the Power on Grand Final day.
36. Stephen Milne St Kilda - Wanna Be Starting Somethin': Michael Jackson
Can start a run of goals, or a bit of trouble in the forward line.
37. Ryan O'Keefe Sydney Swans - Shout: Johnny O'Keefe
Maybe Ryan isn't loud, but it is still a fitting song.
38. Chris Judd West Coast Eagles - Born To Run: Bruce Springsteen
You can't acquire the athletic abilities that he has, he was born with it.
39. Chris Grant Western Bulldogs - Pride (In The Name Of Love): U2
His pride and loyalty kept him at the Bulldogs.
40. Andrew Embley West Coast Eagles - Jump Around: House of Pain
Is probably still jumping around.
41. Brad Ottens Geelong - I Can't Drive 55: Sammy Hagar
Ottens isn't the only footballer with "car troubles", and even he should see the irony in his award for mark-of-the-year.
42. Nathan Buckley Collingwood - Blame It On The Rain: Milli Vanilli
When he misses a kick for goal, he has to "blame it on something".
43. Troy Simmonds Richmond - Enter Sandman: Metallica
Plenty of snakes in the video, although it could also be suggested that Michael Long could be entering.
44. Brett Ebert Port Adelaide - The Best Was Yet To Come: Bryan Adams
Will be even better next season.
45. Brent Staker West Coast Eagles - Every Rose Has Its Thorn: Poison
A lot of good stories for the West Coast players, but Staker missed out.
46. Adam Goodes Sydney Swans - Taller, Stronger, Better: Guy Sebastian
Whoever he plays on, Goodes is usually taller, stronger and better than them.
47. Leon Davis Collingwood - Don't You Want Me: Human League
Not getting a game, he has to wonder if they do want him.
48. Scott Thompson Adelaide - Hold Me Now: Thompson Twins
Kicks goals but also gets plenty of tackles.
49. Cameron Mooney Geelong - Moody River: Pat Boone
Down at the Barwon River you never know which Mooney wil be playing, he could be dominating the game or in a bad mood and dominating the tribunal.
50. Angus Monfries Essendon - Back In Black: AC DC
Turn on Back In Black and the first thing you hear is "Angus".
Please note, aflinsider.net does not endorse you purchasing any of these songs. Except for Poison's underrated albums.
Other songs that could have been considered were Alice Cooper's Hey Stupid, Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock and Number Of The Beast by Iron Maiden.
If the title could be tweaked, Van Halen's Ain't Talkin' Bout Glove would have worked for the Big Q. Or Madness could sing "It must be glove".
